Blessing's story

I am the second born of six children, comprising of four boys and two girls. Our parents farm maize and fonio. Life while growing up was very challenging because my siblings and I had to help our parents provide the needs of the house and even pay our fees. While schooling, I was selling tofu and braiding hair to make money for my school fees. I was able to complete secondary school, but my senior secondary school certificate examination result was poor, and I failed English Language and Biology. Regardless of this, I have plans to register and rewrite the examination.  

After I finished my senior secondary education in 2015, I kept working on the farm with my parents, selling tofu and braiding hair, but in 2016 I got a job working as a salesgirl in a shop in our neighbourhood. The initial agreement was for her to sponsor my education because I promised myself to do whatever it takes to go back to school, but shortly after I started working at the shop, the woman’s attitude towards me changed. I noticed that she was not saying anything about my school. After working for four years, I decided to stop – and that was when I got married. 

Life after marriage had its challenges. My husband had a lot of responsibility, especially taking care of his nieces whom we adopted. I resorted to doing menial jobs and tin mining to support my husband in providing for the family. My in-laws are good and supportive, and we have a good relationship.  

My crisis experiences are not what I would wish upon my enemy.

The first experience was in December 2001. That day, I had gone to the market to prepare for the Christmas celebration. Getting back from the market, we heard gunshots and started running out of the house. We kept running until we got to Vom community, where we stayed about a month. We returned home amidst fear and could not sleep for months because of fear of the unknown.

Years passed and we thought it was all over but in 2014, there was another attack. It was a normal day; my siblings and I had just returned from the farm when the gunshots started. It was real chaos, people were screaming and running, and there was smoke everywhere. Until today, sometimes it feels like I am choking from that smoke and the smell of burning bodies.  

We all ran out of the house and joined the fleeing crowd. My aunty after running realised that two of her children were not with us, and she ran back to get them. We tried to wait for her for a while but unfortunately, she never returned. We lost her and the children, and everything in the house that was set on fire. All our farm produce and livestock, months of hard labour down the drain just like that.

Those were very difficult times for the whole family, unanswered questions on how human beings like us could be so cruel. For a long time, I harbored bitterness in my heart with nobody to address it to. All the government and security agencies could do was to condemn the actions of the unknown gunmen. We had to relocate to Farin Lamba, a community in Jos South Local Government Area of Plateau.  

We started life from scratch, the most difficult thing I have had to do in my life.

But my father used to say: ‘’Do not worry yourselves. When there is life, there is hope’’. 

I heard about the Women for Women International programme from some women in the community but unfortunately, I could not go for the sensitisation and pre-selection when the first cohorts were enrolled. The second time, I heard the announcement from my church, St Matthew Catholic Church, Vwang. It was announced that there would be another enrollment and I was fortunate to be part of it. 

I was happy to join because I have seen the level of transformation in the lives of the graduates.

This is my second month in the programme and so far, I have learnt a lot of things that makes me look forward to an amazing experience that will make a great change in me, my family, community and society at large.

On the topic of women’s solidarity and building effective social networks, and knowing the benefits of associating with other women, I have learnt to value relationships. We are important to each other, and we must cherish the people around us. This is what makes the world beautiful and gives us hope. I now value every woman and ensure that I am committed in my social groups. I obey the rules because that makes the group more effective. 

On the topic of understanding conflict, my attitude and how I relate with people has changed, especially towards my husband. Before now, I would react irrationally when I was upset, and this put a strain on our relationship and sometimes cost me a lot. Now I have learnt to stay calm, and give people the opportunity to explain themselves, after which I sit with them and resolve whatever issues we have. I now listen more to understand and ask for clarification before reacting. 

On the topic of the value of women’s work, I now value the work I do and appreciate other people as well. I used to think that it is only the work that gives me money that's classified as productive work, but I learnt that even caring for others and community work are also productive work and create time for all and ensure that I give it my best.  

I have also learnt a lot about gender division of labour, balancing the double day, and achieving work-life balance.

I now know that there are no male or female chores like we were made to believe growing up; that house chores are mainly for the female gender. I now plan my daily routine with estimated time allocated. This now creates time for rest and enables me have leisure time with my children. 

My goal is to save and register to rewrite my senior school certificate examination to enable me further my education.

I want to ensure that my children go to school and become great people in life.

I would like to start a poultry farm which will be an additional source of income for me. I joined the Women for Women International savings group with 24 other members of my group. Our goal is to support each other financially by providing access to loans that will improve our businesses and help us achieve our goals.  

I am grateful to the founder of Women for Women International, the World of Women Foundation, and all who have come together to ensure that the lives of women change for the better. I will give it my best and be committed to the programme to the end and ensure that I practice all that I learn, make great impact in my life, my family and my community.  

I now know how to make a budget and stick to it when I go to the market, and that has helped me focus on buying our basic and essential needs. It helps me manage the household finances. With that, I realised that I have some money left after spending, unlike before when I would become stranded when other needs arise. By managing my finances, I can save more in my Women for Women International savings group, in my bank account and even with a community savings group that I now belong to.   

On the topic of health, I am now able to focus on taking care of my health. I previously did not bother about eating breakfast and lunch at the right time, and I hardly created time to rest. That affected my health because I was diagnosed with ulcers and low blood pressure. Now, I ensure that I rest every day and eat at the appropriate time, and my health has improved. Before, I didn’t sweep my house every day or even tidy it, and that results in a lot of flies and a stench that might not be pleasant. But now I do, and I feel the fresh air around the house.

My late brother-in-law’s daughters have learnt from me how to take care of themselves during their menstrual cycle - to ensure they change their sanitary pads frequently.

They have learnt not to wash their vaginas with soap but with lots of water, and I ensure that the underwear they use are cotton.  

I saved my stipends for the first three months and used part of it to buy a piglet. I bought it in the month of July, and I started rearing. After it grows, I will buy a male pig so that they will mate and increase in number. The rest of the money went into the building project my husband and I are trying to put together. I am saving my stipends for the next three to four months to start a business of buying and selling soup condiments by early next year.

My savings usually range between 200-1000 Naira ($0.25 - $1.30 USD), which I plan to use to put into my poultry, piggery and soup condiment business. I will eventually save to further my education until I fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher.  

Having knowledge about poultry from my vocational skill training modules, I have learned that I need to think of the capital, the number of birds, the vaccines to be given, and the necessary measures to take when breeding. I have decided that by the end of October 2023, I will start my poultry farm with 15 birds. I am already putting things in place for that. 

I paid back my loan in February 2024. With part of my savings and January and February 2024 stipends I started my poultry farm business with 30 birds. Indeed! This was a very big achievement to me and I’m happy putting my poultry knowledge into practice.

So far, I have not lost any bird.

With the programme ending, I know I will miss meeting regularly with my group sisters and Women for Women International trainers.

But I am very happy and proud of all that I have achieved. My goal is still to rewrite my senior secondary school certificate examination and to support my husband enrol our two adopted daughters of 14 and 17 to learn tailoring and hairdressing. I know that with hard work and determination, my dream of becoming a teacher will surely happen. 

I am grateful to all who have come together to ensure that the lives of women change for the better.

I will give my best and be committed to the programme to the end and ensure that I practice all that I learn to make a great impact in my life, my family and my community.